So in order to chronicle all the changes during my 40 Day Fast, I decided I needed to take measurements and pictures today. I stepped on the scale yesterday, but long ago I learned that the scale alone is not a good indicator of health. I have also come to realize that neither are our own eyes a very good judge. We are our own worst critic and often see blemishes where others see beauty. 
As I look in the mirror, at my less than trim waistline, I struggle to love all my curves. I look at my puffy face and struggle with feeling betrayed by my failing adrenals that force me to take daily hydrocortisone. I see the red inflamed malar rash spread across my nose and wonder if it’s just Lyme, or has another autoimmune disorder been activated. I look at the reddish-purple spot on my left foot (from the CRPS), and wonder if I will ever be able to put on a regular shoe again. It’s not only a struggle to love the outside view, but it’s a struggle to not feel betrayed by all that is going on inside my body.
When I stopped looking in the mirror and directed my concerns to God, I felt like He was said to me- “Be gentle with your body, it’s been through a lot.” It occurred to me that maybe my body felt a bit betrayed too, by some of my own neglect. The neglected hours of sleep, the neglected treatments, detoxes and more that were put off while focusing on caring for those around me. Let me clarify- taking care of others is not bad. We are certainly called to serve those around us with love. But notice what Philippians 2:4 says- “Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.” God expects us to take care of ourselves. We are His creation, His work of art! There are more verses that talk about loving others as we love ourselves, as well as many examples of how even Christ took time away from ministering to rest. So instead of being angry with my body, I decided I would obey and be gentle with it. It is often easiest to decide what I need to do, or how I need to view myself, when I ask the question, “What would I tell my daughter?” Somehow my responses are always much more gracious, loving and nurturing when put in that perspective. The truth is that my self-talk and “self-care actions” speak louder to her about her own body image and value, than anything I could ever say. Being gentle and taking care of myself goes way beyond my own health- little eyes are watching!!!
So today I made myself an AMAZING mango smoothie! I drank homemade bone broth that was seasoned perfectly, and a couple different healing herbal teas. I took the time to use an It Works Wrap to help my body detox, and then dry brushed before a nice long hot shower. I even took a nap without feeling guilty! I sat down with my children and explained why mommy was doing all these crazy things. I told them that mommy was doing things that would help me be healthier so I can better take care of them. They were fully supportive and quick to add reasons why it was important to have a healthy mommy. I learned a lot by listening to their simple wisdom… now to live it out!
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” Matthew 11:28-29 (NIV)
Resources:
- Recommended reading to delve deeper into the issues of body image, eating disorders and self acceptance:
- The Secret Language of Eating Disorders by Peggy Claude-Pierre https://www.amazon.com/Secret-Language-Eating-Disorders-Understand/dp/0375750185/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1509499113&sr=8-1&keywords=the+secret+language+of+eating+disorders
- Into Abba’s Arms by Dr. Sandra D. Wilson https://www.amazon.com/Into-Abbas-Arms-AACC-Library/dp/0842324739/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1509499423&sr=1-1&keywords=Into+Abba%27s+arms
- Deceived By Shame, Desired By God by Cynthia Spell Humbert https://www.amazon.com/Deceived-Shame-Desired-God-Twelve-Week/dp/1576832198/ref=sr_1_fkmr0_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1509499499&sr=1-1-fkmr0&keywords=Deceived+by+shame%2C+desired+by+go
- So Long, Insecurity by Beth Moore https://www.amazon.com/So-Long-Insecurity-Youve-Friend/dp/1414334737/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1509499745&sr=1-1&keywords=so+long+insecurity+beth+moore
- The books above are ones I have actually read. I know there are many more amazing books and I would love for you to leave your recommendations in the comments below!
***It is very important to me that I never recommend anything that I would not personally be okay using. If I ever receive compensation for sharing a link (an affiliate link) I will let you know. But it is my personal commitment to you, as a reader of my blog, to post links very selectively.***