Category: Blog

Tears in the Tub

Posted on by Ginger

Today I woke with a migraine for the second day in a row. Migraines are my weakness, the littlest thing will set one off. I thought I had halted my migraine before I went to bed last night, but by the wee hours of the morning I was awake tossing in pain. I got up and made myself some herbal tea, a combination of Doctor Cinnamon Tea with a pinch of Lobelia. Last week, while researching the respiratory benefits of Lobelia, I discovered it can also act like a muscle relaxant. I decided it might be a good migraine remedy since most of my migraines involve muscle tension in my neck and shoulders. I added a pinch of Lobelia to the Doctor Cinnamon Tea blend because it contains Ginkgo Biloba, which has been shown to increase cerebral blood flow and ease headaches. (Not all migraines are caused by decreased blood flow but many are, including mine. Two signs that mine have a vascular component are that my pupils don’t dilate equally during a migraine, and heat from a sauna and/or hot shower will temporarily relieve the pain until I hit the cool air.) Yesterday this tea combo worked really well to relieve the pain, but today I only experienced a slight reprieve. So I decided to try the one thing I had not done yesterday… the coffee enema. AND it worked!!!

We have this great large jet tub in our Master bathroom where I can hide away from the kids and relax. I had crawled into it and was feeling my muscle tension melt away with the migraine, when the tears started to flow. There is something very cleansing about allowing yourself to cry. All week I had felt tears right below the surface, and now they were finally flowing. “Lord, I am so far behind on life. I am so overwhelmed. I don’t feel like I’m ever enough!” I sobbed. I laid there pouring out my heart to God about all the ways I feel I never do enough, or am enough, for all the people in my life that depend on me. The list was long. The tears continued to flow as I felt God telling me, “You are enough in ME!” I laid there and repeated out loud, “I am enough in Christ.” I kept repeating that truth until my heart believed it enough to regroup. I asked God what I was supposed to do, and together we came up with a list of priorities for today. They were not what I had originally set out to do, but they were what I knew were most important and needed right now. This open and personal relationship with Jesus is what keeps me going day to day. He has been my comfort and strength since I was a little girl. As I cried out to Him today, I was reminded about the times He showed up in the dark corners of my closet to comfort my young lonely heart. I would hide in my closet behind the clothes so no one would find me crying.  During those dark lonely times, I discovered that God is more than just an all-powerful Deity who sits up on His throne, He became my best friend. He is a God who understands our pain and joins us right where we’re at. Today I was feeling like I wasn’t enough. He wrapped His arms around me and reminded me of truth. He gently comforted my weary soul and helped me refocus my priorities. Have you been struggling with feeling like you are never enough? Do you feel like you just can’t do or be all that is expected of you? Maybe it’s time to crawl into a tub, let those tears fall, and let God wrap His arms around you too! He wants to be your best friend, your comfort and your Truth whisperer!

“We have a high priest who can feel it when we are weak and hurting. We have a high priest who has been tempted in every way, just as we are. But he did not sin. So let us boldly approach God’s throne of grace. Then we will receive mercy. We will find grace to help us when we need it.” Hebrews 4:15-16 (NIRV)

Resources:

***It is very important to me that I never recommend anything that I would not personally be okay using. If I ever receive compensation for sharing a link (an affiliate link) I will let you know. But it is my personal commitment to you,  as a reader of my blog, to post links very selectively.***

Life’s NOT Fair!

Posted on by Ginger

Yesterday was our semi-weekly visit over to the West Coast of Florida for our in-office Lyme treatments. Our normal 3 hour drive ended up taking closer to 4 hours, between dealing with traffic and frequent potty stops. It’s quite the trek ,but I really enjoy the time with my kids in the car. We love singing through our favorite soundtracks and the  time in the car provides opportunity for invaluable conversations. The drive home almost always includes a shared appraisal of the gorgeous colors painted across the sky as the sun sets. In a world that is constantly bombarding us with more and more to do, and less time to simply “be” together, these trips are becoming treasured moments with my kiddos. But not everything about these trips is fun and games…

When we got to the medical center yesterday my 9 year old started to panic about getting her IV placed for her UBI (Ultraviolet Blood Irradiation) treatment. She has Asperger’s which affects her ability to regulate emotions and any change in routine greatly increases her anxiety. She has always been the second one in our family to get her IV placed, but yesterday they wanted to do her IV first. This just about caused her to have a complete melt down. I went ahead and had them place my IV first, and then sat her on my lap to calm her down. “Why do I even have to get an IV? Why don’t the other girls have to get UBI? It isn’t fair….” and on she went. I was calmly reminding her that she needs it to fight her Lyme, but she just continued to work herself up with all the ways it was so unfair. It was at this point that I was likely deemed a very uncaring mom by everyone else in the IV room. (I honestly didn’t look around for their reactions because I wasn’t parenting for their approval.) I firmly told her to look at me. When her eyes finally locked into mine I told her directly-

“You are right, it’s NOT fair. Life is NOT fair. It will NEVER be fair! But that is why we have to look for the good things, the positives that we have.”

It may seem harsh to tell a nine year old that life will ALWAYS be unfair. It certainly goes against our current culture that wants to make everyone a winner and not cause discomfort or distress for anyone. But it won’t help my child to teach her anything but the truth. LIFE IS NOT FAIR! But that doesn’t mean that life is not good or beautiful. If we live life always looking for it to be fair, we will always be disappointed. But if we understand that life can be both unfair and blessed, we can focus our attention on looking for the blessings. She calmed down as we discussed how she would likely get over her respiratory infection faster because of the UBI. And how blessed we were that God answered our prayers by allowing Mr. Frank to be working. Mr. Frank is phenomenal at placing IVs! I helped support her arm, and counted as she attempted to deep breathe (she needs more work at this), and within seconds her IV was in and her treatment was started. My little guy was a trooper when it came time to start his IV, and within minutes they were both quietly playing their Kindles while their UBI treatments were underway.  

They hooked up my IV with a Meyer’s Cocktail followed by a hydrogen peroxide treatment. I usually only do IV treatments about once a month, because our first priority is making sure the kid’s treatments are financially covered. Last month we got word that each of our children received a grant from the Lyme Light Foundation, to help cover their supplements and treatments for the next few months. This is a HUGE help! In September we also had an anonymous giver offer to do a matching gift up to $3700 for all funds raised during the month. Thanks to SO many generous donations we raised the full matching gift amount! I can’t even begin to tell you how overwhelmed with gratitude both my husband and I were at the loving generosity showered on our family. We were not only able to get the sauna we had been needing for over two years, but now I am able to get treatments twice a month as well. The cost of supplements and medications for a family of 6 with Lyme is crazy high, and that is before we add in any in-office treatments, lab work or extra doctor appointments. It would be so easy to look at the financial burden of treating a family with Lyme and think about how unfair it is. It’s unfair that all four of my children contracted congenital Lyme! But I can’t even type those words without reading the “blessings between the lines”- I have four children! I am so beyond blessed to be their mommy! So many women with chronic Lyme struggle with infertility and multiple miscarriages. We miraculously have had 5 children, and were allowed to keep and raise 4 here on earth! And we have certainly seen God show up in BIG ways to provide through the love and generosity of so many amazing people. My blessings far surpass the inequitable circumstances in my life!!!

“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” 

“And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:8 & 19 (NIV)

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Worn and Weak

Posted on by Ginger

It’s Day 4 of my liquid fast and I am starting to feel the detox effects, mainly fatigue. I also got way too busy today and ended up waiting WAY too long to drink my 3rd meal! As I sit here in the peace and quiet, after tucking the kids in bed, I feel aches and pains creeping up on me. I have often heard that as your body detoxes and heals it will bring up “old” pains to heal. The strangest “side effect” is an added dose of emotions. I have felt almost on the verge of tears a few times today, with no explainable cause. The more I think about it, the more it makes sense. I believe we are not just physical beings, but a complex triad of mind, body and spirit. We cannot affect one without it impacting the others. This is the main reason I selected a couple passages of scripture to be a vital part of my 40 Day Fast. I wanted my journey to not only nourish my body, but nurture my mind and spirit as well.

I have long loved the scriptures in the book of Isaiah. So when I read through chapter 40 and saw it was all about comforting God’s people, I knew it was perfect for this time. I feel like a child safe in her Father’s arms when I read-

“He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms  and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young.” (Isaiah 40:11 NIV)

Such gentle kindness spoken in those verses. They are like soothing balm to this weary mother’s heart. As I continue reading I am reminded that there is none like our God. He is so powerful and able to do so much more than we can even fathom. Then as a final encouragement the chapter concludes with some of my favorite scriptures-

“He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.
Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall;
but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary,
    they will walk and not be faint. (Isaiah 40:29-31 NIV)

I love that I have a heavenly Father who is so aware of my fragile humanity, and is ready and willing to hold me together and lift me up in HIS strength. Isn’t that comforting? I don’t have to be Super Woman for God!!! I can simply be His little girl in need of His big arms and strong hugs! Tonight while most people are out all dressed up and enjoying a feast of candy, I am laying down my cape and removing my mask. I am allowing myself and all my weariness to be seen by the One who knows me best! It feels good to just be me! Psalm 40 is the other passage of scripture I am meditating on during this time, and the first couple verses best express how I feel as I lay my soul bare before my Creator.

“I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry.
He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire;
he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand.” (Psalm 40:1-2 NIV)

Life can feel like standing in the ocean while the waves knock us side to side and lap away the ground beneath our feet (it’s exhausting), but God is my firm rock! I can be worn and weak, but firmly and securely planted in His love!!! So tonight as I sign off my computer and go tuck my sore and tired body into bed, I am curling up in His love and allowing Him to renew my strength for tomorrow! Do you need to do the same? Are you weary too? His lap is big enough for us all, and His arms know no bounds they cannot reach! Sleep well my friend. Sweet Dreams in Jesus!!!

Coffee What?

Posted on by Ginger

Nearly everyone loves the smell of coffee, even those who detest the taste! There is just something warm and cozy about the smell of a fresh brewed pot of coffee. The kids were sitting at the table enjoying breakfast when I started brewing a batch from my “new” coffee. As I unwrapped the rest of the goodies from the box on the table I started getting some strange looks.

“What’s that for mommy? What do you do with it?” Well… it’s for the coffee. “You’re going to drink the coffee with that?” Well… no, I’m not going to drink it. “If you aren’t going to drink it, then what are you going to do with it?” At which point, I tried to very carefully explain to my 4 kids (ages 5-10) what an enema is. Lots of silly faces and giggles ensued. Finally, one of them exclaimed, “You must really love us A LOT to do something like that to feel better for us!” I do! I really do!

The truth is, I have been so nervous about trying a coffee enema since the first time I heard about them a few years ago. I don’t even really know why because I have done other enemas in the past. Maybe it’s because I am not good at making coffee! (just kidding) I honestly don’t know. But today I faced my fear and I did it! After I had prepared the coffee I told the kids I would be taking some quiet time. My little redhead winked at me and said, “We know what that means!” And my youngest shouted after me, “Let me know what it feels like!” I laughed SO hard!!!

There are many benefits from doing coffee enemas. They’re included in nearly every alternative cancer treatment protocol and most of my Lymie friends have used them successfully as well. When the coffee is absorbed into your colon it stimulates the liver and gallbladder to detox, promoting healing and increasing energy. Some research has even suggested it might help stimulate the production of glutathione, an enzyme that works like an antioxidant and anti-inflammatory agent in the body. Being that it was my first day doing it, I can’t say that I noticed any immediate changes, but I also didn’t have any negative reactions. So I call that a WIN! I plan on continuing throughout my 40 Day Fast and am hoping to report some noticeable improvements. Tomorrow I plan on following the 3 Step System in the first link in the resources below to see if I get better results.

 It’s funny because we get squeamish about things like this, but really it’s just one more way to treat and detox a sick body. Although my kids giggled over my answers to their questions, the subject was approached with respect. My hope is that they will learn and understand that God made our bodies complex with the amazing ability to heal given the right support. I also hope it will normalize some of these traditional protocols that used to be standard treatment options. It’s important to me that they know medicine is far more than a pill or a teaspoon of prescribed liquid. It’s also important that they understand that this is not a conversation to bring up on the playground at church. “My mommy loves her coffee…” Noooo!!!

“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; 

your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”

Psalm 139:14 (NIV)

Resources:

***It is very important to me that I never recommend anything that I would not personally be okay using. If I ever receive compensation for sharing a link (an affiliate link) I will let you know. But it is my personal commitment to you,  as a reader of my blog, to post links very selectively.***

Be Gentle

Posted on by Ginger

So in order to chronicle all the changes during my 40 Day Fast, I decided I needed to take measurements and pictures today. I stepped on the scale yesterday, but long ago I learned that the scale alone is not a good indicator of health. I have also come to realize that neither are our own eyes a very good judge. We are our own worst critic and often see blemishes where others see beauty. As I look in the mirror, at my less than trim waistline, I struggle to love all my curves. I look at my puffy face and struggle with feeling  betrayed by my failing adrenals that force me to take daily hydrocortisone. I see the red inflamed malar rash spread across my nose and wonder if it’s just Lyme, or has another autoimmune disorder been activated. I look at the reddish-purple spot on my left foot (from the CRPS), and wonder if I will ever be able to put on a regular shoe again. It’s not only a struggle to love the outside view, but it’s a struggle to not feel betrayed by all that is going on inside my body.

When I stopped looking in the mirror and directed my concerns to God, I felt like He was said to me- “Be gentle with your body, it’s been through a lot.” It occurred to me that maybe my body felt a bit betrayed too, by some of my own neglect. The neglected hours of sleep, the neglected treatments, detoxes and more that were put off while focusing on caring for those around me. Let me clarify- taking care of others is not bad. We are certainly called to serve those around us with love. But notice what Philippians 2:4 says- “Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.” God expects us to take care of ourselves. We are His creation, His work of art! There are more verses that talk about loving others as we love ourselves, as well as many examples of how even Christ took time away from ministering to rest. So instead of being angry with my body, I decided I would obey and be gentle with it. It is often easiest to decide what I need to do, or how I need to view myself, when I ask the question, “What would I tell my daughter?” Somehow my responses are always much more gracious, loving and nurturing when put in that perspective. The truth is that my self-talk and “self-care actions” speak louder to her about her own body image and value, than anything I could ever say. Being gentle and taking care of myself goes way beyond my own health- little eyes are watching!!!

So today I made myself an AMAZING mango smoothie! I drank homemade bone broth that was seasoned perfectly, and a couple different healing herbal teas. I took the time to use an It Works Wrap to help my body detox, and then dry brushed before a nice long hot shower. I even took a nap without feeling guilty! I sat down with my children and explained why mommy was doing all these crazy things. I told them that mommy was doing things that would help me be healthier so I can better take care of them. They were fully supportive and quick to add reasons why it was important to have a healthy mommy. I learned a lot by listening to their simple wisdom… now to live it out!

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” Matthew 11:28-29 (NIV)

Resources:

***It is very important to me that I never recommend anything that I would not personally be okay using. If I ever receive compensation for sharing a link (an affiliate link) I will let you know. But it is my personal commitment to you,  as a reader of my blog, to post links very selectively.***

Ready, Set, Leap!

Posted on by Ginger

It’s with fear and trembling that I start this blog! For more than 5 years, God has been gently nudging me to be brave and share my story publicly. A few months ago it went from a quiet nudge to an all out, in-your-face kind of message! Now, do it now! So here I am. With faith that God goes before me… I leap!


I am almost laughing that the launch of my blog is also coinciding with the start of what I am calling my “40 Day Fast.” This past week I was terribly sick with a 102 fever and barely able to breathe. The infection in my body was causing my Lyme and autoimmune conditions to painfully flare up. As I laid on the couch, drifting in and out of sleep, I was reminded that I have to take care of me too. As moms it’s so easy to get so busy caring for everyone else that we start to neglect ourselves. Over the next couple days, as I lay in bed recovering, my 40 Day Fast was born.

My health has drastically declined over the past several months, and despite my best efforts to eat healthy and take my supplements, I have seen very little improvement. At my last doctor appointment my doctor told me point blank, if I don’t get my EBV and CMV levels to drop, my next diagnosis will likely be cancer. For over a year I have taken various anti-viral herbs and supplements to try to lower them, but they have only continued to rise. The damage to my lungs from toxic mold and asbestos exposure has increasingly become more and more of an issue. It’s no longer just a chronic cough. Taking a deep breath is consistently painful and I have been waking with asthmatic like episodes in the middle of the night. Add to that joint pain, nerve issues, and ongoing migraines and you will understand why I am desperate. And desperate times call for desperate measures!

Today is Day 1 of my fast and that means I am starting an only liquid diet. The goal is to give my body a break from the work of digesting so it can focus on healing. I am flooding my body with easy to utilize nutrients like fruit smoothies, vegetable juices and bone broth. Today because I was craving salty foods I made myself two bowls of pureed acorn squash in bone broth with sea salt. It was very satisfying. I also have the goal to do at least 2 detox protocols each day. Today I did 30 minutes in the infrared sauna after Epsoak Epsom Salt 19lbs Magnesium Sulfate USP""” rel=”noopener noreferrer”>Epsom Salt bath. I don’t think it is helpful to sugarcoat my health journey, so I will always try to be as honest as possible without being inappropriate. So in the spirit of honesty, let me just say that this first day was quite cleansing and my body reacted by “purging” my gut. I was slightly nauseous after detoxing and tired, but overall I would call it a good day. I will be adding in new treatment and detox protocols as I go and I look forward to sharing them with you. As often as I can I will share links to articles I love about the protocols I am doing and any other resource I feel would be helpful. My desire is that my journey will inspire and encourage you on your own! Here’s to taking the leap and beginning a new quest!!!

 “Whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, 

giving thanks through Him to God the Father.” Colossians 3:17 (NASB)

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