You only have to read my post titles to see that dealing with chronic health challenges can be like riding a roller coaster. You have good days that take you up high, followed by crashing low days where everything seems more challenging. I pushed myself hard on Saturday to get some projects accomplished here around the house. It felt good to see progress and check things off my long to-do list. But the last two mornings I have felt the “pain of accomplishment” as I’ve tried to move my body out of bed. Yesterday, I pushed through the pain to get the kids and I to church on time and enjoyed being able to worship with my church family. (BTW- The “on time” part is a huge accomplishment on any Sunday morning!) It’s important to realize that a down day physically doesn’t necessarily mean a down day mentally. I have many days that I drag my body around like a wet blanket, but my spirit is lifted. If you ask me how I am doing on one of these days, I will likely hesitate before answering, trying to decide whether to be honest about the physical pain or just share the positive spirit. Most likely I will settle on a generic answer that keeps the mood light. It’s easier that way.
I am noticing a trend with my “bad days.” Besides the fact that they are almost always after a day I have pushed myself to the limit, they are also days that I don’t take the time to do as much “self-care.” Taking the time to do self-care is tough! It’s so easy to tell my friends how important it is to take care of themselves and create space to do things that will boost their own health. It’s a whole other thing to actually put those words into practice in my own life. I have a friend who recently posted a picture of herself with the workout video she was doing in the background. She labeled her post with the word “Effort.” I love it! She was making the effort to take care of herself and workout. Just finding the energy and time to make an effort some days is REALLY hard! Her simple post was both inspiring and challenging. It reminded me that self-care isn’t about perfection but simply making the effort. Some days we may not have a lot of “accomplishments” to celebrate but we have made a lot of effort. We need to celebrate the effort! On the days we don’t even make the effort we need to gently ask ourselves why? We may be surprised by the answers that this simple question can yield. Yesterday I made very little effort to implement good self-care. Why? Lack of time… lack of energy… lack of good prioritizing. I offered myself grace while also realizing I needed to make some adjustments to my priorities. I realized that some things I don’t prioritize simply because I honestly don’t enjoy doing them, despite their benefits. Without meaning to, I made the perfect analogy yesterday for lunch!
For whatever reason, I really wanted a big crunchy salad. I wanted colorful peppers, crisp cucumbers and sweet tomatoes on top of a big bed of Romaine lettuce. It was a very healthy craving, but I am still on my liquid fast. So I decided I would try to make myself a “liquid” salad. I should have stopped there. It sounds disgusting and the result was equally so. I poured this horrible looking mixture into my glass and tried to choke it down. (I am saving your appetite by not posting a picture of the actual smoothie. My “dream salad” picture is much better!) I tried to salt my “salad” but that did very little to help. A large dose of apple cider vinegar helped more than I expected, but it was still not enjoyable. The worst part- I made a full Vitamix container of it! Oy! And the kicker- it’s actually one of the most healthy smoothies I’ve ever made! It’s chock full of healthy organic veggies! There’s a lot of “goodness” in that nastiness. So I sat down and drank it. My kids all watched my face as I tried to make the experience look pleasant. I failed. They could all tell it was NOT good. I used the moment to teach them that even mommies have to do and eat things that they don’t like sometimes because it’s good for them. But the lesson hit home most in my own heart. I was drinking it because I didn’t want to waste all those good ingredients. I knew that it was incredibly nourishing despite the unpleasant flavor. How many good days have I “wasted” because I don’t enjoy the treatments that help me feel well and function at my best? I don’t enjoy the coffee enemas (who does?) but the days I do them I notice a HUGE difference. I don’t like the mistletoe shots I have to give myself, but they are stimulating my immune system. I could go on and on with the treatments I don’t like, yet I know are making a big difference in my ability to function. I get anxious taking time for treatments for myself. The long to-do lists starts to haunt me as I sit quietly contained detoxing in the sauna. But just like my nourishing “liquid salad,” I need to “choke” these things down. I need to discipline myself to do them so I can experience the benefits. What’s your “liquid salad?” What is something you know you will benefit from doing even though it may be unpleasant? Maybe we can encourage one another in our effort to “choke it down!” Here’s to making the effort!!!